Worry. I do it a lot and maybe you do as well. My worries are that I’ll not be financially stable enough to continue pursuing writing, that I’ll have to plunge myself so hard into my job that I’ll never have enough time or energy to write a whole book as it should be written. I recently read an article about not worrying. The article was All the Good Worry Accomplishes by Cynthia Rutchi. This article did, much to my delight, give a few tips on how to overcome worry, but here today I’d like to present a few more ways to kick worry to the curb.
Challenge Your Worries
The article How to Stop Worrying on Helpguide.org has many insights about worry and how to handle it. The section that stood out to me the most, however, was about challenging worrying. I once had a working partner who saw how stressed and worried I would get when things weren’t panning out the way we’d hoped. One day she finally sat down with me and said (this is translated to English, she spoke in Portuguese):
If you can fix it, don’t worry, because there’s something you can do to change it.-anonymous
If you can’t fix it, don’t worry, because there’s nothing you can do to change it.
There are so many things that are outside of our control and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. However, it’s important to embrace what you can change over what you cannot. What you can change is what to take action on.
But, don’t forget, you can’t write a book faster than you write a book. So, I say this to myself and others, stop stressing. You’re working hard and learning along the way. When it’s ready, it’ll be ready, and all you can do is write and edit that thing.
Not Everything Is Cause And Effect
We like answers and reason. People want to know that their lives are within their control and that if they do A and B they will get C. It gives us a sense of security to know this. However, when things don’t go our way, it leads to the sense that we’ve done something wrong and we’ve failed.
But, not everything is cause and effect.
Timing, personal preference, there are so many things that lead to success and failure, especially in an industry that focuses on the arts and human understanding. And so, we sometimes have to accept that things are not within our control.
While poking around, I have noticed on the internet that many people talk about “embracing a higher power” to overcome worry. People like a being who, makes sense of nonsense, makes good things from bad experiences, and puts order to disorder. Hey, there’s nothing shameful in needing extra help in our lives. If you are overwhelmed by anxiety and you simply can’t overcome it, perhaps there is something to be said for embracing the unknown.
There is nonsense in life, nonsense out of our control, and we have to grow comfortable with that idea before we’ll really be able to let go of worry.
Learning To Suffer Only Once
Now, I know worrying is bad! I wholeheartedly agree that worry is more trouble than good. In fact, Newt Scamander’s line in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them was on the nose.
Worrying means you suffer twice.– Newt Scamander
I agree wholeheartedly, Newt. I really do. But that doesn’t mean I know how to stop worrying! Knowing something is bad, and not doing it, are two entirely different things. If additions to harmful drugs aren’t enough to show us that, I don’t know what is. So, hopefully the suggestions in this article will help you overcome your worries and only suffer once moving forward.
What do you do to stop worrying? Drop comments in the section below to share how you beat the heat of mental pressures.